Changes

Ezio is finally home with me. It's so nice to have my pup its been a long time coming. He's a husky and will be 1 year September 13th. I'm cleaning the basement out so I can move down there and I'm also looking for another job to fund my short term aspiration of DJing/ becoming a music producer. My recording studio seems so close and I have until my birthday to open it =/. I'm doing well with saving but my mom keeps taking my money. This family is still draining me. there has to be a better way to get to my dreams and obtain that currency then this day to day struggle.

New Man New Dream

I'm supporting my mother and brother, but I'm starting to realize I shouldn't my mom owes me $1500 and I don't ever see it coming back. These troubles are not my fault and I shouldn't have to work my ass off for them. I have a dream I need to support I've been very careful not to accidentally start a family but here I am supporting one anyways. This new dream has come with a new persona. I'm a new man but now I have to decide whether its acceptable for a growing expanding person to leave those who have taken care of him in his youth because he has new ambitions that they take away from. They work me to the bone trying to help me clean the house they've trashed, they take my money to pay bills that should be covered. I've ascended to the position of man of the family and I know for a fact that this position will drain anyone who stays there too long. I want to be rich I have expensive short term goals and I have a future family to think about. Should I be concerned with this drain of a family? they've got a losing equation and have now put me in the mix.

I think its time for me to become independent but I don't think I can do it with them draining me. I'm going to start planning my life without them. But that means I have to cut them out of the plan I've got. I've got no room to plan for them but here I am giving them money to support them selves it's so much easier if I support myself...and my dog I forget about him a lot but he's an expense for me now and I think the new responsibility of him is all I should be worried about. not this family I didn't create its unreasonable for a son to be half grown and have to worry about supporting his parents and brother. I should never have to support my brother,and in this day and age my parent either. Grown working age folks should be able to support themselves. my mom works 3 jobs and dad has been unemployed for 10 years this isn't my fault.

the other night I had this dream where a friend we'll call her CH and it was a 1950's setting where she met me at the door with a martini and a kiss in a sun dress and apron and we had 4 kids one on the way and the house was huge and the bills were paid and that was a great storybook life for me. My job was working for myself, and I was very wealthy. The 50's aren't exactly what I was looking for but all the family and money is what i want I was in my thirties and happy and for that to happen I can't waste time with my family draining me.

Emergence

I've wallowed in the pit of dependence and atoned for my own failures. At the point of acceptance with mediocre and the summit of elitism flying its flag in mockery, casting a shadow on the herd of ordinary people who had given up dreaming for practicality. I found strength. I grew strong on others' self pity, coming to terms with the facts of society. No, I need not depend on a woman for companionship or lean to a friend for advice, not even gaze up and look to God for advice. I now see the roots of the label I'd put on myself so long ago. I am a humanist. My strength comes from within, and when I look to the outside and give up control I am weak and weakness causes unhappiness. The light is finally shining on me. My dawn is rising, and what a glorious day it will be. I'm the master and commander of this vessel. I steer it through storm and sun, until night comes to claim me again. But I have learned next time I shall rest through the night instead of fighting the darkness with a candle.

I was in love with her. Kaela Maynard was a name that has haunted me for two years now but I've finally moved on I would like to apologize to anyone I hurt in the interm because whether in bed or in companionship you were not her and I unfairly held you to that standard. Kaela taught me the best things a girl can teach a guy and I am the lover and boyfriend I am now because of her. 4 girls tried to make it work and 4 girls failed because I didn't give them the attention they needed this last one made me see. Tall brunette I couldn't get past the first date because you were not the lover Kaela was and we fought about it. I want to thank you for understanding and I'm glad to call you my first friend ex. I've been able to befriend other ex's now and Kaela someday we'll be friends I'm sure. But now this man will be a man once again for the girls that come along thanx to a loud Italian girl with a seductive smile.

I'm the money guy. Money will be what I worry about until my yacht is bought paid for and sitting in a marina accessible only by helicopter from my mansion on the mountainside in Switzerland. It was all I worried about for the longest time. But now I have a plan to make money and get rich like I've always wanted. For the first time in my life I know what I want and how I'm going to get there. It feels so good to be on top of things for a change. And I've only started a month or so ago and I'm already made tons more money than usual.

I'm better I'm happier I'm more focused. I'm finding true love in social networking I believe that and currency/stock knowledge will be the keys to my future. G+ twitter and blogger are where the world is headed Facebook introduced a world to the joys of staying connected through the internet twitter showed us we're all people celebs politicians and us regulars can all tweet on the same feed. Now Google has shown people that it can be simple to bring all of your networking to one place. All one has to do is use it, and become great I'll be trying my luck as a DJ and music producer and all my exploits will be here and on twitter and on G+.

Thanx to my dudes who stood by me SK + nick